Questions, answers and more questions...

Old fountain in Vaudreuil...close to our clinic

Beautiful day for a walk.

Fishing boats in Labadie, in the north of Haiti. 

moo.

Haiti is a beautiful country full of amazing people and beautiful scenery. It is also a place where there is much work to be done which begs the question…WHO should be doing this work? Should volunteers from all over the world come here to bring their expertise and ideas about what works and what does not when it comes to global and public health?  Should money be sent down and fingers crossed that those who need it actually get it? Perhaps we (foreigners) should just bring resources and find local community members to teach how to use the resources in a sustainable way. Do we look at collaboration with community leaders who inevitably have a greater sense of what in particular their community needs? Quality or quantity? Giving out money to those who have no access to food? Paying for school for local children with the hopes they will be able to make it there daily? Free medical care or sliding scale, are we putting local doctors out of work, or at least steeping on toes and causing animosity? Coming in with, “all the answers” puts many of us in a position of unease as we know the history of Haiti and the destruction caused by people coming in to this country with preset ideas about what is needed and wanted by Haitian people.  And in the end, there are always more questions than answers.

So. Many. Questions.

I will blame all of these moral dilemmas for my lack of blogging. It seems to be the easiest thing to do. When in doubt, get overwhelmed and then do nothing. Haha, I guess I didn’t make it to the do nothing part but this time in Haiti has definitely found me in a constant state of reflection regarding my work here as well as what is the most beneficial for Haiti. I love this country but it will sadly never be ‘my country’. I will always be an outsider, even when I am on the ‘inside’. It is not a reflection of how people in the community treat me as they are often the ones to say, “she is Haitian!” and give me positive feedback on my ability to speak or try and speak Kreyol, the work being done here and the fact that I seem unfazed by much of what goes on daily. I feel nothing but love from the community but I cannot ignore the simple fact that I am an American in Haiti.

A wonderful hike to the waterfalls. 

Then you see a little kid come into the clinic, smiling and looking coyly at you. She has been one of our oldest and most ill patients, fluctuating between a state of absences of disease and severe illness. She is feeling better after one of our docs referred her to the hospital after she came into the clinic in what I can only imagine was some of the most severe pain one could have. Her ear was infected, likely from many weeks back and now, without treatment she has fluid and maggots draining out of her ear. She made it out of the hospital safe and sound, and is even happier after one volunteer donated some money for her to be enrolled in a peanut butter medicine program for malnourished kids (Medika Mamba). When her mom thanks you for being there when no one else was, it doesn’t seem so important anymore that perhaps we are stepping on some toes, making some incorrect decisions and perhaps not following all the moral guidelines which seem to be so subjective by nature. I think that when I get down about my purpose and mission here in Haiti I need to make sure that I am always thinking about the triumphs, which have been innumerable. I know in time I will be able to navigate my way around this work as I see many of the ‘long timers’ do. I must say, I admire the perseverance it takes to continue to work but also understand most people who are here long term are completely utterly head over heels in love, as I am, with Haiti. 

Everyone loves a baby goat.